smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
