my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize