heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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