is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
