We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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