I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
