and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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