We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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