It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize