do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
