I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
