they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
