last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
