We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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