she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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