im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
