i wish my penis had a tongue
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
