2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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