About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize