so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize