Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
