Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
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