Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
