Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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