What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
