This is not my ceiling
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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