I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we made out on top of his cat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
