I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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