We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
