There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
