Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
