Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
