the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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