You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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