I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
