Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
