i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
