i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
