I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
