whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
