it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
