Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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