Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize