they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
