I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
