...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize