Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
