Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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