Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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