naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
