Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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