just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
