please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
