I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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