he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
