Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
MIDGETS
????
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize