I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
