i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
