Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just high enough for therapy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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