i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
