If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
