this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
