We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
