I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
