never play flip cup with pint glasses
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There's always time for handjobs
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
