Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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