Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
