I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
