He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
