dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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