No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
