awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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