Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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