okay pat passed out under dana's car
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What drink are we having for lunch?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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