Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that's an acceptable place to lick
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
